By Erin K Costello Literally just posting transcribed audio here to create a link to embed. “Weeks Like This” uploaded to “Katie Joy Live” YouTube channel on September 5, 2020.
**Transcription only covers any and all reference Katie makes to her own assault and especially her recollection of her reporting her assault when it occurred.** Begin time stamp 17:45 I’ll never forget the first week, the first week after it happened. And I remember like I didn’t even feel like connected to my body. It felt like I was living outside of myself. It felt like everything that was happening to me wasn’t me, and it was happening to somebody else. And I remember like, the police were in my house and I was it wasn’t me. It was somebody else. I was at the hospital having the kit done and it wasn’t me, it was somebody else. And I was sitting in an interrogation room. Yeah! I was interrogated! Imagine, you’re the one who’s been victimized and you’re interrogated and not believed. That happened. That was the last time I spoke to police. They didn’t move forward and they never called me back. I never got any sort of idea about what happened to my kit. I don’t know what they found. I’ve never received any of my belongings that they took as a part of the investigation. My perpetrator was never held accountable. It’s, you know, there’s days where I forget that like my belongings are still sitting in a police station. My comforter, my clothing, my kit with my DNA is still sitting somewhere and I have no idea what they found. And no idea what could have been in my system and no clue what they did with it. All I know is they never prosecuted, they never contacted me. Like, imagine doing all the things they tell you to do and then they never call you back. And then you have such bad PTSD from the interrogation that you went through with the cops that you’re too scared to actually call the detective to even ask them what’s happening. That’s what happened. I got so scared and I was so traumatized by what happened in that room with that detective that I never called back because I was petrified of being, like, accused of lying again. [reading live chat] How do I join, sorry not to dive being YouTube, I love this channel I want to be a member. You just don’t expect to be traumatized by the people that are supposed to help you. And you have no memory, like, none. My problem was I had no memory. He drugged me. So I didn’t know what happened and he had a story. And I learned about what happened to me in the interrogation. And I’m like, “It doesn’t concern you as a cop that you’re telling me something that I don’t know? That doesn’t worry you? It doesn’t worry you that he’s claimed that this happened three times and I have no memory? I only remember waking up once and telling him ‘no.’ But you’re telling me he admitted that he did this three times, and because I have no memory and he does, you believe him? Doesn’t that concern you?” It didn’t. It didn’t concern him. It didn’t worry him. He came from a good family you guys. He told the cops that I was mad that he didn’t leave his phone number. That’s not how I felt when I woke up that morning. I felt when I woke up that morning that something had happened to me and I didn’t know what, and the last thing I knew, or even cared to think about was the fact that he didn’t leave his phone number. I didn’t even look for that. All I knew is that something was drastically wrong with me. I could not walk and I felt like throwing up. It’s ridiculous. It’s funny because in 2017 I named him publicly. And I did this when the whole #metoo thing happened. I had always protected his identity because I was afraid of his family. Because his family owns funeral homes and restaurants. And everyone knows this family in the Twin Cities. Because, if you are going to a funeral, or you go to certain restaurants, including fine dining steakhouses, his family is connected to them. And I said his name, and it was weird because I got this message in my Dms and it was, they said, “Oh, are you talking about Nick?” And I said, “Yes.” And they said, “I knew it.” And I was like, “What are you talking about?” And they were like, “I’m friends with their family.” And I said, “Ok.” And they were like, “His grandfather would be rolling in his grave right now.” And I was like, “What are you talking about?” And they said, “He’s always been the problem child,. He’s always been the one that’s never been held accountable for what he does and he is always, always bailed out by his family.” And I’m like, “Ok. Yeah. I believe that. 100 percent.” And they said, “I don’t think you’re the only one he’s done this to.” And I was like, “Yeah, I believe that 100 percent” And she said, “I just don’t have proof.” And I was like, “Yeah. Me either.” But that’s like, yeah they own, they own like these funeral homes, and they own like, they own a restaurant called Kozlak’s and Jax. And Jax is like a really expensive steakhouse in Minneapolis. It’s like a really old steakhouse. It’s really expensive. They also own limousines because of their funeral business. They have a lot of money. He was kicked out, that was the one thing she told me, it was like he was kicked out of his one school and he ended up in the school that I graduated high school from because he was at, he went to a Catholic high school, and he came back to our public school because he went to like grade school with us, and he went to middle school with us. And then his family, like, he was having problems, he was acting out and he then got kicked out of the very prestigious high school, Totine Grace, and then came back to our public high school and when he was back in out public high school he literally showed up high or drunk every single day. And he was my Spanish partner. So, when I ran into him years later, why would I be scared of my Spanish partner who I went to his prom party at? You know? Why would I fear him? I did homework with him. [Reading live chat] How did you let it go and never follow up? Did you listen? I said I was scared and traumatized. Why would I continue to follow up on something when I’m diagnosed with severe PTSD and can barely function? And when I went for help they told me I was a liar. Like, I can’t believe that, that question doesn’t even make sense to me. And I’m sorry, I just already explained why I did not follow up. I didn’t want to deal with it. I was scared. I had no one. I was single. I was living by myself in a house by myself. I was scared to go to work. I was scared to be around anyone. And I was scared that he was gonna show up again. And I was scared because of the money that he had that I would never be believed. And I didn’t do anything. They told me they were going to call me. They told me that they were going to take care of it. Why didn’t they follow up with me is a better at, as a better question? Why didn’t the cops do their job and contact me again. Why didn’t they contact me when the kit came in? Why didn’t they contact me and follow up? Why didn’t they ever contact me? Why is it my responsibility when I’m told “we will contact you,” for me to contact you? When I am paying for your salary as a taxpayer and you have a taxpayer held position. {Reading live chat] It doesn’t, being interrogated makes it worse you just want it to go away. Correct. Victims shouldn’t be interrogated. Why was I interrogated? Why was I placed in a room and berated and told “I don’t think you’re telling the truth.” And then when I finally break down and cry and I tell him “I’m not lying. You’re not getting this right. This isn’t true.” And he finally goes, “Ok, you’re right. But it’s going to take a long time and I’ll contact you and I’ll let you know. But just know that it’s not going to happen soon.” Would you want to contact a detective that dismissed you and made you feel like what you went through was your fault? I haven’t let it go. I’m still sitting here 13 years later talking about it. I went through therapy, I focused on my mental health. I went to therapy weekly, I did a lot of therapy. Sometimes twice a week. It took a long time. And even today, they’re admitting that cops need better training. They’ve admitted, even in the Twin Cities because there’s such a systemic problem with how victims of these crimes are treated because if you think about it, if you were robbed, would you go into an interrogation and the cop go, “Are you sure you were robbed? Are you sure? Are you sure they took that? Aren’t you just making that up? Aren’t you just lying? You’re lying. You weren’t robbed because you were drunk. You weren’t robbed because you were wearing a dress. You weren’t robbed because he came from a good family. You weren’t robbed because he went to Minneapolis and he went to McDonald’s and then he went to tart, Cub and he had a receipt. You weren’t robbed.” NO! You would never treat any other victim like that. Period. It didn’t put me in a rut for life because I went to therapy, Jen, so thank you for clarifying. And I’m sorry if I got shorty, it’s not that I’m short, it’s more just like, I feel like sometimes these questions feel like victim blaming and that bothers me. So thank you for clarifying that. But I had to move forward. I knew they weren’t going to help me. So I did. And I went through therapy and I found out about boundaries and I learned about boundaries. And I learned about being a better human and I got on medications and I took care of myself. And then I started writing and advocating and that’s where I’m at today. End timestamp 30:40
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
Archives
December 2021
Categories |