Thank you for Helping Me Use My Voice- Without a Crystal Ball September 7, 2020
By Erin K. Costello
The following is a transcription of a video Katie Joy streamed on September 7, 2020 titled "Thank You for Helping Me Use My Voice." Here is a link to the video, though I believe Katie has since made the video private. I will be uploading the video, and any other media I find likely to be deleted by Katie and worth preserving, to a media hosting site that is able to host long videos such as this as soon as I find such a site. I'm told Imgur can now host long videos like this, it was my belief they couldn't in the past, if this is the case then I will upload the video there under the account SlayerUtica.
**EDIT Imgur can't host big video files like this so I just settled on using Dropbox. Here is the video link.
I'd like to add that the timestamps I've included are not for any reason other than to make it easier to find specific texts in the video. I tried to break it up according to pauses to the best of my ability. Though the timestamps may look as though I did (they do to me anyway), I did not omit any part of her video in my transcription besides the usual uses of verbal fillers like "um."
The transcription for this video is as follows:
Hello. You can see me. I know. The first few seconds of a live are always a mess because you can see me. Hi.
Ok, so, yeah, all day today I just want to tell you I was having a lot of anxiety and I was feeling like all kinds of things. I was having “the feels.” And I was like, I have to do this because I haven’t done this on my platform and I have to get this out, and I got it out. And I wasn’t expecting it to feel that good. You know like, it’s weird because after I did that, I actually tweeted the St Louis Park PD [Police Department]. And I named him on Twitter and on Instagram and I tagged his family’s businesses because he used his family’s businesses to get out of it. So I am, you know oh you guys I’m sorry. You get mad at me when I play with my hair.
I’m just really grateful because I feel like I wouldn’t have been able to do this without this platform. And I feel like I’m so glad that I have this platform to be able to do this because not everyone does. Like, not everyone can have that sort of catharsis in a way. Like, putting it out there and no longer allowing it to be attached to you anymore is one of the most empowering feelings that you can do. And I feel like, if anything, maybe it will change something. I don’t know if it’ll change anything for me, but I’m not going to hide anymore. And I’m not going to hide that his family’s affluence was part of the reason why he got out of it.
Somebody in the comments actually said to me, “why does it matter? It’s not fair that you name his family’s businesses.” And I think that’s the problem here is it’s why he got out of it. So you have to name the businesses because if you have someone whose family owns a bunch of different companies, and they are saying, “Well, don’t you know who my family is?” I mean, right? “My family, we’re good people. We would never do that. It’s my family.” So if you know someone in your family is doing that and then they’re hiding behind your businesses in order to, like, do things, your family should know. And the public should know because the public is using your family’s businesses. And you’re using your family to do things. So, regardless of who owns what, his grandfather is the person who owned Jax Cafe. And I think one of his aunts or uncles is who owns the Royal Oaks Restaurant. And I don’t know who owns the funeral homes. I think it might actually be his grandfather that started it.
But, either way, the one thing I will say is that it’s been 13 years of me feeling like I’ve been up, it’s been like David against Goliath, you know? Like, I was the 27 year old girl who came from a family that was not well off compared to them. I mean, my mom worked in education and my dad worked for public health. My dad was a, he was a consultant when I graduated from high school. My dad was, you know, he worked in, he did public health, he did private health care but he was an administrator. But, we never were like well off. We were just average. And when you’re going up against a family that is extremely wealthy and you’re just some average person, you know it’s like you feel like you’re up against a giant. And, you know, I feel like it’s time to, you know, I feel like part of my drive to get where I’m at today is because I felt that powerless. Like, I was like, nobody believes me, I’m a peon, I have no platform, I have no one to say anything about anything. And now, finally, I have a platform, and I have people that will listen, and I have no-- He’s gonna be really, people are going to know who he is now. I’m done.
Thank you guys for um…yeah I’m not sure how much was raised for that video earlier. It was restricted by YouTube. So I would like to minimize the discussion in the chat. And I’m gonna be very careful with this specific video because that video isn’t going to raise any Adsense, unfortunately. YouTube restricted it. And I figured it would. But the portion of the money that was super chatted will be sent to RAINN. And, yeah, I’m overall just like, that’s the part of YouTube that really bothers me is like, you can’t talk about anything that matters on this platform and try to raise money. I could do a donation, I think. Or you could donate, but the sad part is if I do that I don’t have any, there isn’t going to be any Adsense revenue that I can donate then, and it’s just ridiculous. Because I wanted to do it so I could do it as a donation for Adsense, because if you set up as a fundraiser, all of your Adsense goes directly to the non-profit. But, if it’s restricted there’s no revenue that comes in via Adsense because they don’t place ads. They only do like limited ads that don’t pay very much.
And if you want to know, if you want to know about like how Adsense can destroy your income, go talk to DeafNoodles because he had a bunch of his videos, like, all restricted. It basically turns your income on a video to zero.
So, I shared a link for RAINN on my Instagram and I also shared a link on my Twitter. So I am…YouTube is a pain for ads, for sure. I will put a donation link on Facebook as well. I was…YouTube is being annoying, for sure. I was, my thing that I want to do more than anything is I was actually super surprised lots of people did not know about RAINN. So you guys, just talk about that on your social media. Like, if you have people that you know that like are going through something, let them know that that exists, because a lot of people clearly don’t know it’s, they don’t know that it’s there for them. They don’t know that it’s like, a possibility. They don’t know that there’s all these resources on that website that could help people. They don’t know that there’s a 24-hour, seven day a week hotline. They don’t know that that hotline connects people to their state resources, that hotline does intervention when you are in crisis. And for a lot of people who feel like they can’t talk to anyone, that’s like the best thing that you can have. Like, when you feel like you have no one to talk to and you can’t, like nobody’s gonna get it, these people on this phone line will save your life, and make you remember what’s important and remind you what you need to do. And help you by doing so empathetically. And then um… I was great…RAINN is, it’s r-a-I-n-n dot org. It’s the national hotline for SA [sexual assault]. And they do a lot of stuff for legislation. They recently did a humongous push for kits to-so that there would be more funding for kits to be processed. Which is awesome. Every state in the country is massively behind in their kits being processed. And it’s, you know,-nami is great too, RAINN is specific for this issue. So there’s lots of different resources, there’s like nami for help with mental health. RAINN is specific for this and that’s why I suggest that because its a different beast that they handle there. But there’s lots of resources, there’s local resources too. It’s more just making sure that you guys know that there are resources there for you. And you don’t have to be alone. I’m so glad that like my friend told me about RAINN when I going through all of that because that’s how I found my county resources and it’s like if you don’t know what you don’t know before you get into the middle of it, right?
So, yeah, I’m… yeah.... yeah, so either way, there was like something else, like there was a lot there were some comments people were making like, “Oh you’re just doing this because you said something about someone and because of that, you’re doing this, and you’re making this up.” Someone even accused me of stealing my story off of Netflix. Which is actually kind of amazing, I don’t know how I would steal the story that I’ve been saying for 13 years. Like, maybe Netflix stole my story. I don’t know. But, I don’t do anything because of like I’m not calculated like that. Honestly, I was truly affected after I did my stream about Circle of Hope Ranch, and then it was like back to back. It was diving into what Josh Dugger did combined with the Circle of Hope Ranch, girls ranch in Missouri story, and both of those combined, it just like, it hit me like a wave, and it was like, I haven’t been hit like that in years. So, you know, if you’re hit like that in a wave, and you are brought back, and then somebody said to me, “Well you just need to stop talking about it because it makes me uncomfortable.” And I’m like,--
Katie is a liar wants to know if I’m worried about the safety of my family after I got doxxed. No, I’m worried about my family because of not.. But I have no problem putting out his name publicly because he is a public individual and he should be, you know, yeah. I’m sure my haters will just say that I’m doing something super negative because you know I can’t have anything in my life that actually is bad. But this is like, honestly, sharing this story is to help other people. And I want to say that like, so many of your comments were like, “thank you, you have no idea how much I needed to hear this, thank you. You gave me hope, thank you, you told me what I needed to hear, I wish I would’ve done that, thank you for being brave,”— It’s not even about being brave. Honestly, I feel like if we don’t talk about it, we just stuff it down. And I feel like there’s no timeline for healing.
So, like if you tell someone to stop talking about it, or to just get over it, you don’t get to tell someone what they need to get over. You can get through life and you can have a lot of days where you don’t think about it, but you also have days where you do think about it, and there’s aspects of your life that will never be the same. Ever. And you can go through weeks where you think it’s not affecting you, but in your soul, your body and your mind doesn’t forget. You don’t forget what you went through, you don’t forget how it affected you, it changes how you relate in your romantic relationships. It changes how you relate to your spouse or your partners. It changes how you relate to your friends. It makes, it hardens your heart, makes you not trust people. And it’s hard to speak out because every time you speak out, you know that there’s going to be a million people that accuse you, — Someone said to me, “Well you let him into your house, what did you expect?” Like, no, that’s not how this works. Anyways, um…
Franny?……..Franny, I have all the proof I need, and I’m not worried. And the fact that I’m not worried, the fact that someone’s telling me to be worried is stupid. Sue me. Sue me. Guess what? If Nick sues me then I get to open up discovery on his ass. And then he gets to tell me everything that happened. He would be an idiot to sue me. The last thing I care about is a lawsuit at this point. Thirteen years I have lived in a complete and utter cage. And I’m not going to be scared into “maybe they’ll sue me.” No. I’m not gonna shut up, I’m not gonna be quiet, I’m not gonna pretend like his family’s influence didn’t play a part in what happened. You’ve got a kid, that’s family owns numerous huge businesses in the Twin Cities. It’s a factor. When someone says that last name people know who they are. And you know what they do. How could anyone that’s involved in helping people at the very end of their life have anyone bad in their family. That’s the excuse he dies on. “But we help comfort families. How could we ever be bad?” I mean, it’s like the perfect veil.
Franny, I’m going to ask you to stop talking about it. And you can keep these opinions to yourself. You are my member and you support me but I don’t care about a lawsuit. And if you’re worried about a lawsuit and that’s all you wanna talk about, I’m going to ask you to leave the chat. You can talk to me about this privately, but at this point it’s utterly distracting. And it doesn’t matter what he’s convicted, like there is a verified police report, there are documented kits that have been taken, there are dozens of people that have told me that they believe that he’s done this.
[reading chat] “My friends was a funeral director, she said everyone in that industry is messed up.” Yeah, I don’t really know like, and just because I’m….saying their names. They’re a public business. So, you’re a public business, and you have someone in your family that’s doing these things. That’s it. I didn’t say the business did those things. I said their nephew did these things, and their grandson did these things. And that’s the truth. And….. I can’t get him held accountable in a court of law so we’re not going to talk about the logistics of it. The statute of limitations has expired. The state of Minnesota has really stupid statute of limitations. I already consulted an attorney at one point. The civil statute of limitations is over. And, unless they will actually process the kit, if they find DNA, they have tons of evidence, they’ve just never processed any of it because the police officer didn’t want to.
And I’m not gonna protect him by not saying his name. Because one of the biggest things I’ve learned in this process is the reason why these men continue to do this stuff is because everyone’s afraid to say their names because they’re afraid of the backlash, they’re afraid of the lawsuit, they’re afraid of the people coming after them. But guess what? When you say their name, they lose that power. Because then they have to prove to everyone else that they didn’t do it. And it’s never in their favor. Because less than 2 percent of people that go through this falsely accuse anyone because there’s nothing to gain from this. There’s nothing to gain from faking something like this. And it’s, it, really that’s the part of this that makes me really irritated because it’s like, because 2 percent of the 90, of 100 percent of the people that go through this because 2 percent of it, 2 percent of the people fake it, the 98 other percent aren’t believed. But in, if this were a burglary, you wouldn’t, you would never question, “Are you sure you weren’t a part of it? Was your, are you sure your mascara wasn’t asking for it? What was your mascara wearing when they came in? It’s because your mascara says ‘climax’ on it. That’s why they took your mascara. It’s not because they took your mascara, it’s because of what it says. It’s because it’s red. Your mascara was taken because it’s red.” You would never do that. It’s, it’s unconscionable. And there are so many people, that I’ve learned, that now through I’ve seen…..
Scream his name? John Nicholas Kozlak. Date of birth…I’m just kidding. [laughter] He has the same birthday as me. He’s just a year older. That was always the thing about him that I remember growing up. Is that we had the same birthday. He was just one year older. And I never knew anyone that had the same birthday as me. So I always thought it was funny growing up that we had the same birthday. Because how often do you know someone that has the same birthday as you? I still to this day, he’s like the only person I know personally that has my birthday. And so, I remember when I ran into him that night I was like, “Hey! We have the same birthday.” You know, like, that was the one part of it I just that always bothered me. Like why does he have to have my birthday? Why does he get my birthday. He doesn’t get my birthday. I don’t like my birthday anymore either because of that. Like, I don’t do anything for my birthday. I don’t like holidays anymore because of it. I feel like the fact that we have the same birthday has like stolen my excitement for having a birthday. [laughter]
Apparently he has a daughter, I guess, I don’t know. And I’ve publicly named him in my community so this isn’t new. Like, I’ve publicly named him on Facebook three years ago. And I would say half of my graduating class contacted me. We did not go to a big school. So, everyone at school knows what he did and no one says I’m lying. They all believe me. Because they know what kind of person he is. So, I don’t have to convince the internet because I have people in my real life who have known me for years that know my character, that know everything about me, that knew who he was because they went to Catholic school with him. And you know, one of my friends Amy? She will just like go off. You might sometimes see her in comments. She knows who he is, she went to Catholic school with him, she knows what his family’s about. She knows exactly how he uses his family. It’s well known how he uses his family and that’s the problem, is there is always someone in a family like that that uses their family to get out of things. It’s the affluenza.
Is Franny still talking? I didn’t see her saying anything. Ok, Franny’s going to take a little time-out. Like, I’m sure she’s very concerned but we’re going to move on from this discussion. I don’t know if there’s other people that have been a part of his, but I will say that he has a limousine business. And I was actually thinking about this; I had this part, this part of the story I’d never actually considered because going through that entire night in that video was actually sort of like re-processing my memory and now there’s parts of that story that don’t make sense to me. Because, I remember that night when I ran into him, it, he seemed really out of place. Like, he hadn’t been at the place I was at, he was literally just like walking around and he was by himself. And he was like looking for someone. You know what I mean? I was really bizarre. He wasn’t working, he wasn’t with friends. He was literally by himself. And he was just walking, in down, in uptown, doing what? I don’t know. But why, and he hadn’t been out, at all. He wasn’t going out, he, he wasn’t, I don’t know where he even came from. It was like, he told me, “Why I was just, I just got off work.” You just got off work why are you walking around uptown? For what purpose? He wasn’t going into any of the establishments. He hadn’t had a beverage. He was totally sober. And, like, was I just the person that he happened to, like, run into that night? You know what I mean? And then that makes me wonder if he still does that? Does he still get off work, and walk around, in uptown, looking for people? Because he spotted me. I did not, I did not see him. I was not even paying attention. Like, he literally saw me, and was like, “Hey Katie.” It was bizarre. He said that he was working, but he didn’t have his limo, it was weird. He didn’t have his limo at all because, he said he had been driving people around, but he didn’t have a limo, it was really weird. He had his Denali, or Yukon..whatever it was that he was driving. He did not have his limo. It was the weirdest thing, and it was like, it’s the most bizarre thing.
I know, I still can’t get the red record button off. So, he wasn’t really doing any drinking, that was the thing. Because we went, he met outside of that place, we went over to my friend’s Saesha’s house. We got to my friend Saesha’s house. My friends ordered pizza, from Pizza Luce. And then people started making drinks. I remember somebody made me a drink but I wasn’t really wanting anything because I had been drinking beer that night and they were making me like a vodka cranberry and I just wasn’t into that at all. And I got really tired. They ordered like four pizzas. I mean the fact that I can remember that, you know? I can remember sitting in my, in Saesha’s kitchen, and Steph, my friend Stephanie was there, my friend Paul was there, Saesha was there, Nikki was there, and I was sitting in there with Nick, and then Stephanie. And then all this pizza comes in, and I remember eating a couple pieces of pizza. And then after I ate the pizza I was like super tired. And I wanted to go home. And I would have had to either call a cab, or, or like this was before Uber. There wasn’t Ubers then. [laughter] There wasn’t an Uber in 2007. So I would’ve had to call a cab and he was like, well I can drive you home. So, and he hadn’t been drinking so I wasn’t worried about it.
I’m sorry Kim that that happened to you. I felt like the cop gaslit me, that’s what it felt like. I felt like he was gaslighting. And it was funny because I was trying to find him on the website and I don’t remember his last name. His name is Mike. [laughter] And I don’t know what his last name is. The only person I could find that’s in, is a, lieutenant in investigations his name is Michael Garland. But I don’t remember his last namer being Garland. And you guys, this is the craziest part of the story, the detective’s, the lieutenant’s partner, is my neighbor, across the street. I’m not even lying. My neighbor, right across the street, John, is partners with Mike. And, I will not even talk to John, because of Mike, because Mike gives me so many bad feelings. [laughter] And John has nothing to do with it, literally! Yeah, so John moves in and he was like, “Yeah I work at Saint Paul, or St Louis Parks Police Department.” And he’s a lieutenant of patrol. And he’s a nice guy, you guys. Like, my neighbor, he’s a nice guy. He’s very serious. Because of his position he’s also very, he takes his security and his privacy very seriously, and all of us around here respect that. Because I feel like anyone who is a police officer has to be very careful in their homes because you never know who’s going to retaliate. And he’s a lieutenant of patrol I think. And he’s very meticulous. He keeps his like lawn super tidy. He’s the kind of guy that will mow the lawn and sweep the driveway. I mean, that’s how he is. He has a boat, he’s a dad, he’s a good guy. But I literally will not talk to him because he’s Mike’s partner. [laughter] I should ask him, like “what’s Mike’s last name?” But I don’t know.
Yes, you can stay Smokey Pete. ThinkBree says, “I love you Katie and all the awesome subscribers here. We’re all a team for each other to lean on.” Yes. It’s, you know, it’s hard because you feel like you’ll, you heal, and then you don’t and then something will set you back. And I think, like, part of me sharing too was I wanted to remind people that even if it happened a ton, like 20 years ago, or 15 years ago, like, I still, it’s ok to fall back. It’s ok if you have a few bad days. It’s ok if you slip. It’s ok if you feel stuck. It’s ok if you feel disassociated. It’s ok if you feel triggered, and hurt, and anxious. It’s ok. That doesn’t mean you’re going to stay in those feelings every day. Usually for most of us, you learn how to bury it, and not think about it. And you learn how to go through your life. And that doesn’t mean you forget. And sometimes it just boils up and comes back when you’re least expecting it and that’s what happened to me.
[Reading from the chat]
“Fellow Minnesota moms can understand this so much more too.”
“It’s ok to have a real…says….you’re permanently the person who this happened to.”
“You know what Katie, what would help if people would stop with the assumptions” I don’t know what you’re talking about. I don’t know what assumptions people are making.
“I couldn’t watch your videos before today.” My videos?! “I couldn’t watch your other videos before today.” What other videos?
I have, I look into my cameras over here, and then my computer screen is over here, and then my chat is down here, so if I’m not looking into the camera it’s usually because I’m reading my chat, which is not where my camera eyes are. I apologize.
I don’t know what assumptions I’m making though, I’m still worried about that. I’m trying to read the comments. It’s hard. Because I want to try and like engage and this isn’t like your normal stream. Like some of my streams I actually am just like bleep bloop bloop but…
“It’s ok when you get triggered. Now you have deeper milling.” Oh you didn’t watch my triggering one. Yeah, and I don’t expect everyone to watch it. I mean, I feel like people are going, the people who want to see it and need to see it will watch it. And that’s who I made it for. Because I put a bunch of stuff at the end of that video for people that need help. I gave resources, I shared some quotes, I gave some phone numbers, or some links for people. Because that’s really why I was doing it. I wanted people to know like there are ways to get better if they need help. That’s honestly why I did it.
I’m trying to like read and do a lot of different things at the same time.
Isn’t it funny how there’s like things that you can remember too? Like, I can still remember like the smell of the room on the day that I woke up. It was like really damp in there and it felt really like cold. I can also remember like the darkness of the, when I went to the hospital, of that room. And I can still remember the fluorescent lights that were in the room that the investigator put me in. And the hum, I can still hear the hum of those lights, like in my ears sometimes. And like I can still remember like waking up and saying “No.” I used to wake up a lot and have that in my head.
But, I’m trying to think of what it ruined. He ruined my birthday because we have the same birthday. He ruined my birthday, he ruined karaoke, he ruined [laughter] I don’t even know.
I always wonder, like what it would have been like to actually have been believed. And, like, what it would have felt like to have them actually believe me. And not have been told I was not… The one part that always bothered me about the story was that I was somehow positioned as a scorned lover. And that always bothered me because I didn’t want to be his, I didn’t want to be his lover, at all. He wasn’t my type. He was too short. And I’m sorry if you’re a shorter person. I like guys that are 6 feet or over and he’s about 5’8-5’9, very lean and small in stature. And I like a guy that’s like taller with broader shoulders. That’s always what I’ve dated. He was always too slight for me. And I don’t, that’s just not what I’m attracted to. Like some people like a slighter, leaner guy, that’s not what I’m into. It’s never been what I’ve been into. The boyfriend that I had before him, before that night, was 6 foot 1, my ex-boyfriend before that was 6’2, my husband is 6 feet tall. My husband has broad shoulders and he’s a bigger guy, like he’s lean but he’s not super skinny. That’s never really been my thing. I’m not tall at all either. I’m not tall. I’m short. I’m 5’3. And a half. But I’ve always liked tall guys because I, [laughter] my joke when I was a kid, was I needed to be with a tall person because that way my child would have a chance. Now the irony in all of this is I have a child that has a form of growth hormone dwarfism. So he’s in the 5th percentile of his height for his age. So, I don’t know how tall my son will ever be. He’s very small for his size. And it doesn’t matter how tall my husband is. He just doesn’t have the tools to grow. Now he responds to growth hormone but it’s kind of ironic in a way. They claim that they can get him to be about my husband’s height but we’ll see. And they say that statistically he should follow the growth pattern of his father, in terms of his height. But he’s so small. He’s literally in the 5th percentile.
So yeah, he wasn’t my, oh…he wasn’t my type. He also, like, I don’t know. His whole like aesthetic just wasn’t me. He likes, had slicked back hair and he was just not it. [laughter] Like, I like guys that are like in a t-shirt and jeans. Manly guys. I don’t know. Like, my husband is very like, he’s a dude. And I’m not trying to, I’m not trying to like, I feel like I’m being like if a guy isn’t a dude then I’m somehow being like mean but I’ve always just like guys that are like, dudes, you know? Like my husband loves to woodwork and he’s super handy and he’s really you know into all that kind of stuff. And Nick was so like, coddled, that I don’t think he knew how to do anything. And that’s not attractive to me, like, at all. Yeah, I like guys that are like rough and tough. But it’s funny because my husband never played sports really. He’s not like, but he loves football. But he’s also super sensitive which is really funny. But he’s also very man. [laughter]
Oh my God! You guys are contacting them? Oh my god! Oh dear. I tagged them on Twitter. Here’s the thing, like, yeah..I’ve lived in silence for far too long.
I always feel bad about like, you know how like everyone has their own preference? Even my husband when I met him his hair was too light. So, I was so weird. I really liked guys that were tall and had dark hair. I had never gone for a guy that had light hair, and my husband is really fair. He has like blondish hair, he has blue eyes, and his skin is super pale. He sunburns constantly, he’s very fair. And all the guys that I always dated before were like taller, darker, more like Mediterranean. Like my boyfriend before him was at, was Italian. So, yeah, I remember meeting my husband and I was like “you’re just kind of pale for my liking.” [laughter] You know, you have whatever it is that makes you happy.
Like don’t, yeah, don’t contact his family. I would only con, like, I just want people to know it’s him. Like that’s it. Yeah, don’t….. “Annie contacted someone on Facebook” Oh near. Don’t contact their… I only share the business information because he is connected to them. If you’re, you know, I tagged the police. That’s who I care about. Not the businesses. But, they, you know, at the end of the day, like no, they don’t have anything to do with it. Like, they’re related to him and he uses their name. That’s the point. Like, he’s using their names. They’re not….he’s using their names. And I think he worked at one of the places.
[laughter] Types are a thing, it’s true.
I don’t think anything is getting out of control. Either way, don’t contact the businesses. I want to hold accountable him, and I want people to know that he’s using his family’s name to get out of stuff. And perhaps that will help his family disconnect from him. Because they should. They should not support him and they should disconnect and not associate and not help him financially. I don’t know it they help him financially anymore, but I know that he was able to build his limousine business based on his family’s name.
He’s always used his family. He was 28 years old when he was doing this. In fact, oh God a couple of years ago I said his name publicly. And I named the businesses. I’ve always named the businesses. So I wouldn’t be surprised if they already know. They probably look at him as a stain on their family name to be honest. But, somebody from his, so somebody that was friends with his grandparents reached out to me and they said, so his grandpa, his grandfather died a couple years ago, and he said his grandfather would be rolling in his grave. And he’s like, that is not how he raised his grandchildren to be and that’s not how he raised his children. And she said, “But, I would not be surprised if he’s done this before and he is still doing this because he has always been bailed out by everyone in his family and he has never been held accountable for anything. He is the kid that has always been a problem.” And that’s coming from someone who knows them. You know, and then you have people from my high school telling me the exact same thing because he was that kid that was never held accountable. Ever.
So I actually got tested for everything. I had to take antibiotics for two weeks in the event that I was given any sort of STI. I was given the Plan B in the event that he didn’t use protection. So I took a really strong antibiotic in the event that I was given the “G” thing, the “C” thing, any of those. So I took two weeks of antibiotics. I got Plan B from them. I got a bunch of meds. They gave me a ton of meds. And they tested my blood but they never returned any of that information.
Take back my birthday… I should.
I did everything I was supposed to do. I gave them all the evidence from my house. They took my comforter you guys. They took my comforter and my sheets and I never got them back. They took my clothing. They took, they took so much stuff from my house. I’ve never been told anything about it, nothing.
My birthday is in November. Oh you guys I’m going to be 42. I don’t wanna be 42. I don’t even want to be 41. So dumb. So dumb.
I don’t know. I honestly just, I just tagged them on Twitter. And I said it’s been 4885 days since you said you were going to call me and you haven’t called me yet [laughter]. [while laughing] 4885 days since you said you were gonna call me. [laughter]
So yes, I am motivated to expose people because of what happened to me. I am motivated to investigate because clearly investigators couldn’t investigate my case. I am motivated to expose people that do this kind of stuff because of what happened to me. I’m motivated to support people that go through this because of what happened to me. Im motivated to use my voice to support other women because of what happened to me. I am motivated to call out people that do this kind of stuff because of what happened to me. A lot has happened to me besides this that motivates me. There was also the stuff with my grandma that motivates me. And then, you know, what my ex-boyfriend did to me. That also shaped me. I mean, my ex-boyfriend is a whole another can of worms. That guy’s a piece of, something. That guy’s horrible, Terrible.
I know, like, and the funny thing is, I’m a scorned lover but I didn’t want his phone number. [laughter] I didn’t want your phone number. I didn’t want to ever talk to you again.
I think the detective is still there. I tagged them on Twitter so we’ll see if they respond [more laughter]. I said I have a really large platform and everyone’s gonna know what you guys did [laughter]. Sorry.
Harvey Weinstein didn’t get justice until people spoke out. Bill Cosby didn’t get justice until people spoke out, so, I’m just gonna follow their lead [laughter]. I’m done.
I feel like there’s this massive misconception about this Sophie story because of a video that’s circulating saying that I didn’t believe her. I was talking in a live stream about how the court said it didn’t happen, and a forensic evaluation said it didn’t happen, and they said she was being coached. So we were talking about was she being coached and was the court being truthful. And was she just being coached and acting out like that. It wasn’t saying she was doing that. And then if the whole video would have been up at the end you would have heard me say, but they don’t show you that part. That I do believe that she was a victim. But because of what the court said, I didn’t know what happened. And that’s the problem because whenever there’s something online, you have one story, and then you have another story, and I am always trying to evaluate against it. And then in another live stream I said I’m going to believe her until someone tells me differently. And I even said that I was skewed in my belief because of the way that we all process things automatically questioning and I admitted I was wrong in a video that’s still up on my channel. So I don’t know why people keep clamoring to this. It’s not even true.
The only thing I said was that custody cases are very wild and attorneys will tell you that things can happen and whether it’s one thing or another, the little girl is still the victim. And that’s what I said at the end of that video. And that’s the truth.
And the problem with the toxic ness around that story is that you can’t even talk about what the court says because automatically people say that you’re suppor…you’re not believing the dad. But how do you go well this is what the court says, this is what they say, because there’s always two sides. And, you know, just like with me, there’s two sides. He said this, which I told you, he said this, I said this. So, you know, you…they were in court. They also said it was edited, you know. Does that mean I don’t believe her? No. It’s just me talking about what was being said.
I try to always just evaluate and question everything that I’m getting. And that’s what I said, Piper, I said it was either a case of what happened to her, which would have been SA or it would be a case of horrific parental alienation. Either way, it’s a-b-u-s-e. Either way she’s the victim. And that’s what I said. So either way, she’s being coached to act this way or either way it happened to her, but either way she is not at fault. And she doesn’t deserve it. And the good news is that there’s a court order now keeping her away from the alleged perp that did this. And they are investigating and they will figure out what happened. And, I talked to like, the reason why I was having questions was I talked to like three attorneys that day to ask them about what happens in family law and a lot of stuff can happen in custody cases but that doesn’t mean that what’s happening to her didn’t happen. It’s just a mess, to be honest. Correct. OhHeTaon says “she’s a victim of something and needs to be safe regardless,” and that is what I said. But people want to automatically just take that one part of the video where we were questioning what she was talking about and saying what the court said and them saying she was acting out, and them saying she was being bratty. And so then you’re like well, that doesn’t mean I think she is. But, I’m always gonna support a kid, regardless, you know. You know, period. But this whole assertion that I don’t support her is just, it’s just made up, it’s fake outrage and it’s, I’m not beyond that I have nothing else to say.
I contacted, I posted his information but don’t contact him. Like, don’t. Don’t contact the businesses. I’m putting out the public information because it’s public information. That’s all I’m doing. I’m not telling people… do not harass anyone. Me sharing my story is for me to take my power back. And he will have to know that people know it’s him and that to me is satisfying. Because he can’t hide anymore and I’m not going to let him hide. Cause people know.
Yes, do not contact the family or their businesses, 100 percent.
Yes, it’s for my empowerment to share. It’s not for you to hurt them. I don’t, I don’t go to their, can I tell you a story? My mom and dad’s 40th wedding anniversary was 10 years ago, 11 years ago. No….yeah 11 years ago. And they wanted to go to Jax’s. It’s owned by his family. And I said I will only go if we know that he’s not there. So we had to contact them to ask if he wasn’t there. It’s the only time I’ve ever been there, and I will never go back. And I only went there because my family wanted to go there. They have excellent food, btw [laughter]. It’s an excellent restaurant.
You guys are gonna blame me for all everything the haters will blame me for everything. And I’m not going to let you steal my thunder, I’m not going to let you make me feel bad. You are responsible for your actions. I’m responsible for my actions. I’m not responsible for what other people do. I’m only responsible to say I’m sharing this publicly, I’m ok with sharing that publicly, I’m not disparaging these people. I’m saying this is what happened, this is his family, that’s it. Don’t contact them, that’s it.
And if you are someone that’s worried about what’s going to happen to these businesses or to him, you’re not my, you’re not supporting me. You’re not here for me. You’re only here for the drama. So, yeah, anyways, I gotta go.
Thank you guys so much for being there for me, for supporting me. I am not here to argue but the people that are in here commenting, making these comments, they’re the same people that are always making these kinds of comments. I could rescue bear.. I could rescue kittens from a burning building and you guys would blame me for burning the building down. Bye guys.
In addition to transcribing this video myself, I also proofread and edited my transcription. I realize proofreading is not my strong suit so I welcome and appreciate any comments pointing out errors I may have missed. I plan to transcribe other video going forward because I feel that reading comments made by people can reveal things missed when listening to said comments. I find this to be the case for myself quite often and I assume I'm not alone in this regard.
9/11/2020 07:06:24 pm
Absolutely brilliant. Great work transcribing that video. I appreciate your work. Thank you 💕
9/12/2020 01:29:56 am
Thank you and you're very welcome :-)
9/11/2020 08:43:32 pm
Erin, thank you so much for doing this! Great job as always xx
9/12/2020 01:31:56 am
You're welcome and thank you so much! :-)
9/12/2020 02:11:33 am
If I took a shot every time she says "like", I'd die from alcohol poisoning.
9/14/2020 10:00:14 am
Thank you very much! It honestly isn't much work but is very tine consuming and I type pretty fast lol.
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